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Valve Dota 2 Secret Cipher Organigramme

Glossary

Jargon. Lingo. Code words.

14-Year-Old Boy

—If you see one running your project, don’t worry. That’s

actually 57-year-old Josh Weier

(see Josh Weier)

. If you have any extra stem

cells, give them to him! He bathes in them daily.

Australia

—A place that’s either very near or is New Zealand where more

than half of Valve’s employees were born.

City of Seattle

—Where Valve’s founders promised we’d locate our office

before pulling a massive bait and switch to the Eastside

(see also Greg Coomer)

.

Coffee Machine, Right-hand Dispenser

—The dispenser in all coffee

machines at Valve that holds the decaffeinated coffee beans. To the best of

our knowledge, these have never needed to be refilled. For all we know, the

beans are decorative plastic.

Company Vacation

—Every year, the company gathers all the employees and

our families, flies us somewhere tropical, and gives us a free weeklong

vacation. Popular pastimes include beard contests, snorkeling, ice cream

socials, jet skiing, or just sitting on the beach chatting with the locals about

how many googly-eyed seashells you should buy from them. (Your feeling:

none. Their counteroffer: Just buy five then.)

Empty Shelf on Fifth Floor

—Place we’re planning on putting all those

awards for

Ricochet

once the gaming world finally catches up with it.

Fishbowl—

The conference room by the lunchroom. The one with a big

glass wall. Don’t let the name throw you—we don’t actually use it as a

fishbowl! Except, of course, on Fishbowl Fridays, where we fill it up with ten

thousand gallons of putrid saltwater so that all the manta rays and sharks

will have something to breathe while they fight to the death. You won’t see

it in your list of benefits, not because it isn’t fun, but because it is illegal.

Freight Elevator

—

(See “Method to move your desk,” on page 18.)

Gabe Newell

—Of all the people at this company who aren’t your boss,

Gabe is the MOST not your boss, if you get what we’re saying.

VALVE: HANDBOOK FOR NEW EMPLOYEE

S

– 56 –

Greg Coomer

—The only person who cares or remembers that somebody

once might have said we’d move to Seattle.

Knives

—That which one can never own enough of. A vast collection of

them is in no way a Freudian compensation.

Manager

—The kind of people we don’t have any of. So if you see one, tell

somebody, because it’s probably the ghost of whoever was in this building

before us. Whatever you do, don’t let him give you a presentation on

paradigms in spectral proactivity.

Mann Co.

—Maker of square, unsafe products for men that occasionally

catch on fire, and more occasionally, work as advertised. Owned and

operated by Saxton Hale

(see Australia)

.

Parking Garage Elevators

—Autonomous hostage-taking devices with a will

of their own. Beware.

Playtesting

—What we do early and often. And loudly, if Karen is the tester.

Ponies

—The animals most beloved by those away from their computers,

and most despised by people who prefer to hear jokes just once.

Scorpions, Poison, Queen

—Repeated exposure to our bathrooms’ Pavlov-

ian rock block soundtrack will ensure that you’ll never be able to relieve

yourself again unless someone hums “Rock You like a Hurricane.”

Shitty Wizard

—Person responsible for all

Dota 2

bugs.

Aka

Finol.

Talk Alias

—Marc Laidlaw’s internal blog.

(Un)weighted Companion Pillow

—The thing Erik Wolpaw carries around

with him and covers his mouth with after others have sat on it.

Valve Activities

—You will learn to love blacksmithing.

Josh Weier

—Variously pronounced “Josh Weere,” “Josh Wire,” “Josh

Woe-Rue,” “Josh wuhh...[trailing off],” and “Josh Joshington” by those of us

who stopped caring. They’re all equally valid!

WFH

—Working From Home. What to do if a single snowflake falls out of

the sky.

http://wiki.teamliquid.net/dota2/IceFrog
http://steamcommunity.com/groups/DotA
make Ctrl-A for see cipher position need to decrypte it x)

.See Also hiding blog
http://blogs.valvesoftware.com/
that send us to this -->
http://www.valvesoftware.com/jobs/job_postings.html
if i would know, i need to send id for a job x)
Contact Valve-Contact Valve:

1. Ted Backman-Ted Backman
2. Jeff Ballinger-Jeff Ballinger
3. Aaron Barber-Aaron Barber
4. Mike Ambinder-Mike Ambinder
5. Dan Berger-Dan Berger
6. Yahn Bernier-Yahn Bernier
7. Jason Brashill-Jason Brashill
8. Charlie Brown-Charlie Brown
9. Dario Casali-Dario Casali
10. Jess Cliffe-Jess Cliffe
11. Phil Co-Phil Co
12. John Cook-John Cook
13. Greg Coomer-Greg Coomer
14. Christen Coomer-Christen Coomer
15. Quintin Doroquez-Quintin Doroquez
16. Dota 2 Team-Dota 2 Team
17. Mike Dunkle-Mike Dunkle
18. Dhabih Eng-Dhabih Eng
19. Miles Estes-Miles Estes
20. Chet Faliszek-Chet Faliszek
21. Al Farnsworth-Al Farnsworth
22. Vitaliy A. Genkin-Vitaliy A. Genkin
23. Bronwen Grimes-Bronwen Grimes
24. Brian Jacobson-Brian Jacobson
25. Erik Johnson-Erik Johnson
26. Kristopher Katz-Kristopher Katz
27. Dave Kircher-Dave Kircher
28. Eric Kirchmer-Eric Kirchmer
29. Stefan Landvogt-Stefan Landvogt
30. Doug Lombardi-Doug Lombardi
31. Joe Ludwig-Joe Ludwig
32. Randy Lundeen-Randy Lundeen
33. Scott Lynch-Scott Lynch
34. Arsenio "Shopkeeper" Navarro-Arsenio "Shopkeeper" Navarro
35. Dina Nelson-Dina Nelson
36. Gabe Newell-Gabe Newell
37. Tony Paloma-Tony Paloma
38. Karen Prell-Karen Prell
39. Wade Schin-Wade Schin
40. Eric Smith-Eric Smith
41. David Speyrer-David Speyrer
42. Jay Stelly-Jay Stelly
43. Anna Sweet-Anna Sweet
44. TF Team-TF Team
45. Robin Walker-Robin Walker
46. Chris Welch-Chris Welch
47. Shawn Zabecki-Shawn Zabecki
48. Zoid-Zoid

Refresher Dota 2 Parodies

PapaDrayich - Ogre Face

they pick me
No, i never pick mates
i ??
No, you are

i wanna slow them like the venomancer please
Pushing let em'hit me, TP team and stun with me
Luck and intuition play with multicast from start
And after DK's hooked i fireblast that suckers heart

Oh-Oh-Oger
Oh-Oh-Oger
i'll get him hot, ignite's what i've got
Oh-Oh-Oger
Oh-Oh-Oger
i'll get him hot, ignite's what i've got

Carry my, Carry my, No he can't carry my Oger Face
Oger Face is what we have
Carry my, Carry my, No he can't carry my Oger Face
Blodddlust every single creep

Oh-Oh-Oh-Oger Face
Oh-Oh-Oh-Oger Face
Pa-Pa-Pa-PapaDray
Pa-Pa-Pa-PapaDray

i wanna troll with him my brother he will be
We're playing ranked and it's fun when you're with me
Rushing a scepter is not the same without a blink
And Oger when we stun if it's just one it isn't fun

Oh-Oh-Oger
Oh-Oh-Oger
i'll get him hot, ignite's what i've got
Oh-Oh-Oger
Oh-Oh-Oger
i'll get him hot, ignite's what i've got

Carry my, Carry my, No he can't carry my Oger Face
Oger Face is what we have
Carry my, Carry my, No he can't carry my Oger Face
Blodddlust every single creep

Oh-Oh-Oh-Oger Face
Oh-Oh-Oh-Oger Face
Pa-Pa-Pa-PapaDray
Pa-Pa-Pa-PapaDray

i wont stun you only once Double up
Cause i'm bloodlusting my team mates
i'm not feedin i'm just stunnin' with my Oger brother
Like a sunstrike in the fountain
Take your gold with my first blood

i stun this
i stun that
Check this spell, cause i'm OGER
AH ah ah what is not enought

Carry my, Carry my, No he can't carry my Oger Face
Oger Face is what we have
Carry my, Carry my, No he can't carry my Oger Face
Blodddlust every single creep

Carry my, Carry my, No he can't carry my Oger Face
Oger Face is what we have
Carry my, Carry my, No he can't carry my Oger Face
Blodddlust every single creep

??
i won, No i won, shut up, No you shut up
i'm a gank
eu ha, eu ho, ha ha, hey ! hihihi aahh !

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